Recent events, have left much of the public wondering what a Horse Burger would actually taste like.
2The Media should know better than to alarm the public over nothing. Practically cheering as the public stumble over themselves to run off a cliff more hurriedly than a pack of possessed swine.
3Where was the enterprising soul, that could have bought up the entire supply and opened up a Pop-up delicacy Burger Bar. Obviously, it may not have been to everyone’s taste.
4But there a surprising number among us, that would literally try anything once. There are plenty of young chaps wanting to show off bravado on a date, that would want to impress\horrify a girlfriend to be by chopping on a Horse burger. Possibly making them feel like they’d got into contact with their inner Rambo or Hunter gatherer – Paleo-Diet.
5If they’d had more enterprising staff, they could have turned the situation into media gold dust. By simply moving the burgers on the Value shelf and whacking up the prices.
6When questioned, they could have said that, they felt the Irish economy was now confident enough to try out new luxury products. Thereby hiding the problem in plain sight and simultaneously creating an economic tsunami through the positive message sent out.
7As we all know, in French class we were always taught that if we ordered the Stake Tartare, we would be not only getting horse meat, but that it would come raw, finely minced and with a raw egg in the middle.
8Get this, Horse meat is so safe that you can eat raw it with a raw egg in the middle!
9I hate to break it, most journalist have been to France and probably had the Horse meat treat at some point. I bet there was many a journalist, who had an easy media day, barely having to get out of bed to write comment on this story. Quite happy at the same that the possible resulting popularity in Horse Burgers, was averted. So that the prices of a naughty secret gourmet treat prices weren’t sent surging . A naughty secret gourmet treat.
10I first encounter a Horse Burger meat, rather drunkenly during a week-long Pamplona Bull run. I wasn’t quite of sound body and mind. But it was the healthiest thing I ate during those eight of nine days of debauchery.
11Horse meat is quite rich, like venison, yet also sweet and a little less gamey.
12What had probably happened was that this was a batch determined for another country, where the scandal would have been even greater, for the supermarket there would have caused national shame for having attempted to pass off 30% Horse meat as 100% , and thereby claiming the price difference.
13Unfortunately no pop-up Burger bars can happen now, as the burgers have been withdrawn for the supermarket.
14Original price of Burger… ???
15price of 100% Horse meat Burger. A cursory look on the internet found 2 burgers in 220g pack £2.20
16Minced horse meat 500g £3.53
17Whats the moral of the story? More french classes. A more robust grounding in The Arts and Humanities would have completely averted the PR disaster and public furori.
18We can only imagine what public horrors will follow, without proper investment in Arts and Humanities education funding.
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